I made my bed, and now I must lie in it!

Sorry I/We can’t!

That is a phrase that will be used to answer a lot of invites to things. I’ve already begun using it for awhile. The funniest experience I’ve had as of yet was when I went to a birthday dinner with friends, and after dinner my friends decided to go to the casino. I told them I couldn’t go cause I simply could not afford it. I was poked and prodded into going, and finally had to say “Listen, I have a lot of debt, and the casino is the last place I need to be. When our bills came my friend’s boyfriend turns to me and goes “Are you ok?”, and I was like “Ya, why?” and he’s like “No, are you ok to pay your dinner bill!? I can pay it for you”, and I was so shocked and kinda embarrassed. I told him that of course I was ok to pay my bill ,that if I could not have afforded to come I would not have but that I knew going to the casino was a bad idea for me. He wasn’t completely convinced and asked me again if I was sure, and I had to reassure him a few times. While it was sweet and all it took me by surprise that that was his reaction. It made me realize that the journey I’m about to go on is not one that most will understand. That when I say no to certain things people are going to take it personal. I know when I was reading the Dave Ramsey book he warns that not many WILL understand, and that you should not WANT to live a life where you are keeping up with the joneses. I really want to follow his advice, and I know I have to. It’s just so damn hard.


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12 thoughts on “Sorry I/We can’t!

  1. It is definitely difficult to say “no”… but trust me, after 2+ years it get easier! πŸ™‚ Soon it won’t be “No, I can’t because I have debt”… it will be “No, I can’t because I choose to prioritize my money on the things that are important to me”. Best wishes with your journey! A difficult, but so rewarding journey! πŸ™‚

  2. Crazynoiia on said:

    I like to use the phrase ‘That’s not in my budget this month.’ … I’ve found people take it less personally… Sometimes a friend will go oh how about next month and I tell them I’ll have to review my budget next month and they either let it go or ask me a few days later and I go into my debt repayment/savings goals/plans… Good Luck on your journey!

    • Thank you! I like that a lot better than saying what I’m currently saying. I’m just so blunt about everything, I really have no filter and I need to get one lol!

  3. This story is so similar to what happened to me this weekend! Out for a birthday dinner – a friend of my boyfriend, so it wasn’t even in my budget to start with and Id planned not to drink so I could keep costs low. T

    hen we went to the casino afterwards..I didn’t gamble – I’m not a gambling person at all – but I did buy a round of drinks that cost $53…that, plus dinner and drinks at dinner blew my budget way out…and it was quite difficult to say ‘oh I’m on a budget as I’m paying off debt’ (I didn’t) as they weren’t really close friends of mine, they were my boyfriends mates.

    I really should have just stuck to the old ‘I’m not drinking tonight’ for health reasons or what have you. I felt crappy when I woke up on Sunday having spent all that money 😦

  4. We all make mistakes. It’s good to see you back on here. Hang in there!

  5. Great job saying no and working towards staying on budget!

    I hate that because you say no or we cant afford it right now people think you are broke and in need of help. lol. We have friends that don’t invite us because they assume we don’t have money, they will actually tell us that to. But the thing is we choose to spend our money in other areas… or better yet we save it! We don’t get caught up in the whole “keeping up thing” it can be hard and frustrating at times that’s for sure!

    I definitely prefer to say its not in the budget, it gets the point across without coming off like you need a hand out or something πŸ™‚

    • Thank you! Is it bad that I’d actually like not being invited out? Lol! It would help me not spend money I don’t have! πŸ˜‰

      I like the whole “it’s not in the budget”, I will for sure be using that!

  6. It is really tough saying no to your friends. As you say it’s difficult for many people to really understand debt. Stick to your guns, you’re doing the right thing and hopefully your friends will be supportive along the way. πŸ™‚

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