I made my bed, and now I must lie in it!

Archive for the month “July, 2013”

I hate budgets!!!!!

So after looking online for what seemed like an eternity tonight I found a budget worksheet that is compatible with excel. I had to edit it to meet my needs but I managed to do that and I love it. What I don’t love however is the filling it in part and finding out how fucked I really am. What I discovered is that I’m $24.00 short every month! Lovely! So not only do I not have enough money to pay all my shit, but I have no extra money for savings, or to pay extra on my debts. How fucking fabulous is THAT?! Obviously I need to change a few things in my life. I’m not sure what to do at this point but I welcome any and all advice!


Oh how I love crossing the border……

into the US of A! It’s always a little dangerous cause I know I’ll be spending some money but the US has so many goodies that us Canucks just don’t! The 1st time I walked into Target I wanted to move in! Your dollar stores are the shit, and don’t even get me started on the FOOD! Gah! It’s like I’ve died and gone to heaven! The fact that some things are so much cheaper is nuts! I once bought eggs, 12 for 99 cents! 99 f’in CENTS! Here the cheapest you can get them for is $1.99 and that’s a good deal! Then there’s the tax difference. HUGE! I also noticed that the tax is different on clothing and shoes! My mom paid 4% tax for underwear! You don’t even WANT to know what the tax is here, you’d die!

Anyhoo…I love going there and saving myself some money. You may think that I’d save some money by not wasting gas and driving there but the drive is like an hour, and gas is cheaper in the states…lol!

So funny story. I know I mentioned in a previous blog post that I use only 1 credit card with a limit of $300.00. Well I broke out this card knowing I had money left on the card that I could use. I like using credit in the states cause the exchange happens on my statement and it’s a lot better rate than when you use CAD money. My card worked at Target. At the next 3 stores it was declined. I was starting to worry that my card has been blocked since I was out of the country and maybe the company thought that my card was being frauded. Thankfully I had another card with me that I didn’t really want to use but I had to use because I had no choice. So I called the company today and apparently the payment of $120.00 I made on July 17th had still not cleared. Ready for the reason why? Sometimes when they’re not sure where the payment is coming from they freeze the payment. It was only supposed to be unfrozen by Aug 2nd. I got slightly frustrated and told the rep that this was unacceptable, especially since my payments always come from my bank account. I always pay the bill online and every other payment has cleared. He said that sometimes this can happen and it may not be the last time! After that I kinda lost my marbles and said a few choice words….lol! Unreal though eh?! My one card with a limit of $300.00 and I gotta worry about this shit now.

Ok, back to business. The business that I have not even started. My budget. I swear I’m going to finish that up by the end of this week. I have to. I want to be all prepped for August. Fun fun! LOL!

No bankrupcy for me!

So I’ve come to a decision about whether or not to file for bankruptcy, and my title says it all!

As much as I would love to get this debt erased from my life, I don’t want to file for a few reasons:

1.My mom always told me as a teen “you’re gonna learn the hard way!”. Well mom, nothings fucking changed here! LOL! I NEED to learn this the hard way, cause I’m afraid if I don’t, I will slowly get myself into this mess again and I will NOT have that happen!

2. I don’t think that I’m at a place currently where bankruptcy is the only option for me. Most people that file for bankruptcy really have no other options. They can’t keep up with the minimums. So far I can!

3. I don’t want to lose my credit score. It may not be as high as a few years ago but it’s still at a “Good” rating. This will come in handy when my property does sell, and I need to go back to renting. Landlords often do credit checks and I cannot have bad credit at a time like that.

4. I have not weaned myself off credit cards. I know, I know! I should not be using any credit cards. I don’t use any of my credit cards but one. It has a limit of $300.00 and I intend on keeping it that way. I use it only in desperate times, and I always pay it off every month.

So there you have it. My decision has been made. Now, I just need to form a plan of action. My budget is sad, but my goal for this week is to sit down and look for ways to save money so I have more money to go towards debt repayment.

Wish me luck!

Old habits die hard….

So I went somewhere tonight that I shouldn’t have gone. Whenever I have gone, it usually ends badly and I always swear to myself that I will never go back. To make matters worse, I took $100 out on my visa (cash advance) to go there.

Where is this evil place I went to? The casino!!!!

My mom and I went to dinner there (they have an awesome gourmet buffet), and I treated my mom so that cost me $70.00. The money left over was for gambling.

I was lucky, I won $185.00. I immediately stopped playing, and cashed in my winnings. On the way home I stopped at the bank and put the $100.00 back on my visa. I kept the $85.00 because I have 2 outings planned and need spending money and this will help tremendously.

I don’t know what possesses me to go there. I don’t go often, but dammit, I shouldn’t be going at all. I need to really buckle down and truly live like a poor little bitch, why is this so hard for me?


Always at a crossroads…..

If I were childless I would pick up another job in a heartbeat, and just work to the bone to pay off this debt. I am always looking for a part time job but not much works with my already 9-5 job. Then I think to myself, yes it would be nice to work evenings and weekends as well but when will I ever see my kid? Is it worth the trade off? Or is it worth it to pay off this debt fast so we can do more as a family? How do you decide? These are years that I won’t ever get back….such a hard decision.

Saving money on vacation….HA!


So, here I thought I’d actually save money on vacation…..what a funny little thought that is!

So far I have spent even more money than I usually would at work! It’s completely my fault. I thought that since I wasn’t going on an actual vacation away I would at least go one some fun outings around my city…like the zoo for example! Well 3 people and $100 just to GET IN the zoo….I’m poorer than I was last week….lol! Thankfully we brought our lunch, and didn’t buy any of the $1000 snack items that they offer but still….expensive day!

The rest of my time off I’m trying to find things that are FREE! That’s very hard to do when you have a kid, like we do! There’s only so much park,  sprinklers, and pools that we can do before we all truthfully get bored.

I guess I should you give you all a little backstory on my little life. It’s not just me, myself, and I. It’s my non-hubby (12 years together, but happily not married….lol), and our 5 year old daughter. Oh, and add an overweight cat, and a 5lb poodle to the mix. 😉

I thought a long time about not going into detail about my life, and who is in it , because I am a very private person but they factor into every detail of my life (of course) and so leaving them out of this blog is ridiculous.

Ok, well I’m off to look for fun free things to do….wish me luck! 😉


When friends have not changed…..

So it’s all fine and dandy that I’ve decided to finally do something about my debt, but what do you do when the friends you do have who are in the same boat as you have decided to keep on truckin’ the way they have been. Taking vacations, buying expensive things, etc… how do you maintain those friendships when you are so obviously not in the same boat as them? Part of me is kinda jealous that I can’t treat myself to lavish things but then I remember that they’re not in a great financial situation and buying all those lavish things always comes at a high cost. Then there are the friends that claim to have no money when you ask them to go to a movie or dinner with you but then they book a trip the next day…..

I think I’ve come to a time in my life where I just really need to worry about myself. I’ve always been a people pleaser, and always worried what people thought. Right now I need to worry about myself, and really only worry about the people that I know truly care about me. I have wasted way too much time on people that really don’t give a shit and I’m done.

Personally I need to start coming from a place of no when it comes to invites. I get way too many dinner, movie, you name it invites and I have a hard time saying no. Truth is, my budget is so tight that I truly can’t afford it!

I heard a story at work last week about a friend of a co-worker. She apparently is the cheapest chick out there. Has a good job, owns a car, condo etc, and has tons of money in the bank. When her friends ask her to go out she says she has no money. She does this because she obviously must have a plan. I need to take a lesson from her and live like I’m dirt poor….cause well, I kinda am… LOL!


When your job sucks………

do you stay or go?

I have been with my current company for many, many years. I started off as receptionist, made my way into accounting, and then got fed up, and quit for another job. Hated the other job, quit that job for another job (this was in a 3 month span by the way), hated that job too, and then went right back to original job but this time in customer service. So really, I only left my company for a 3 month span, and there are many days I wonder why on earth I ever came back or why I stay. I feel like I’m in a really bad, abusive relationship, but I just can’t get enough. I’m a fucking masochist!

The pro’s of the company are:

1. They’re pretty flexible if you need time off.

2. You can say things like “Fuck”, “bitch”, “cunt”, and not get fired.

3. The majority of the people are really awesome and make working there really enjoyable.

4. They offer 5 paid sick days, and have always given pretty good x-mas parties and x-mas bonuses.

The cons are:

1. The pay is crap, I could, and have gotten paid more elsewhere

2. Management is under-qualified so you’re pretty much left flying solo, and often have to deal with attitudes that would never fly anywhere else.

3. Nothing works properly, and so our customers are often left feeling pretty pissed off and guess who gets to deal with them? Us!

4. There is big time favoritism and double standards, therefore while you work your ass off the employee next to you fucks around and never gets in trouble.

So there you have it.  My fears of leaving are simple. I already left, worked at two other places, and hated it! Maybe I’m told old to start over now. I hate being the new girl. I’m pretty friendly, my resume is awesome, I know I could get a better job in a heartbeat but I’m just really apprehensive about the whole thing now. The hard part is, I know that if I want to pay off this debt I need a better paying job or a raise. I already drafted up a letter asking for my evaluation and a raise and am planning on handing it in upon my return from vacation.

I guess we’ll see where that goes!



“Vacation” time!

While most do fun and exciting things during their vacation (most which cost money) I will be laying low at home. This was not the original plan because I had wanted to finally get my ass on a plane (have yet to be on one, partly due to fear and partly due to money), and finally go on a proper vacation. I was going to just charge it as per usual! Then I thought, NO, Hell NO! I’m not adding more debt to my already hefty mound. I would much rather save, and pay cash, and the go on vacay and relax!

So for the next 2 weeks I will do inexpensive things. I will save money on gas for my car for sure, and since I have yet to cut out buying coffee (I always buy coffee every  day, (it cost $2.00 from McDonalds for a coffee and a muffin…but yes I know, it adds up!), and even though I have gotten a lot better about bringing my own lunch to work I still have been buying the occasional lunch, I will not be doing either the next 2 weeks!

I spent some money tonight though that I probably shouldn’t have. I went to go see the movie “The Heat” and I’m so happy I did cause I laughed so fucking hard. I love Melissa McCarthy, she is one of the funniest actresses EVER! I needed tonight, it was money well spent to conserve whatever sanity I have left.

Time to re-coop.

Starting off on the right foot….kinda!

I’ve always used my last pay of the month to pay next month’s rent (now a mortgage). My rent was always due the 1st of every month but my mortgage is due the 8th of each month so that gives me a few days to play with which is BAD! It created this horrible habit of using my 1st pay of the month (if possible, some months my pay came after the 8th) to pay that month’s mortgage payment. This is an issue because that leaves me with hardly any money and bills are due. Fast forward a few months and I’m in deep shit because I now have had to pay a few things late and I now have credit card companies calling me looking for money! I have NEVER had any collection calls. I felt like a bumbling idiot. Having done accounts receivable for many years, and having to be the one to call and collect money, I never thought I’d be on the other end of the stick! I have never been in a place like this. I was always that friend that had a credit card, used it, but always paid it off in full. When I financed my 1st car, the finance lady was amazed at my credit score. Look at me now finance lady, quite a change 6 years makes eh?!

So luckily I have a friend that is actually really good with his money and he loaned me some money so I could pay all these past due bills and start off on the right for August. August is also a 3 pay month for me, and I was originally planning on using that extra pay to pay off some debt, but now I will use it to pay my friend back. So technically it’s still going towards a debt I owe. 😉

I’m so sick of this. I’m not sure what to do. My minimums on everything are so high that I have minimal left over, definitely not enough to pay off my debt in any realistic amount of time.

Either way, I’m off the bad cycle I go onto, and onto a path that will allow me to at least pay my bills on time. That’s a good start! I’ve also kept myself busy with finding and reading other blogs similar to mine, and that’s been awesome! There’s for a sure a community out there. You just need to pull up your big girl (or big boy…lol) panties, and own up to how much debt you’re in, and form a plan of action. Putting myself, and my numbers out there has really done something! I have started quite a few blogs in the past before this one, and I only ever made it to 1 blog post. Maybe I wasn’t ready at that point but I am now!

Things can only get better from this point on, and I cannot WAIT!

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