I made my bed, and now I must lie in it!

Feeling resentful

The following feelings are probably going to seem extremely selfish but I can’t help how I feel.

You ever go through the experience of having to go to one event after another for someone? Events that cost you money? I don’t mind going to events once in awhile, but when these events go back to back, and increase in the amount of money that I’ll be expected to spend, I get annoyed. I don’t have anything going on in my life that requires anyone to come to my shit, and I’d rather not go to the expense of going to anyone else’s shit over and over again. Thank you very much! The thing is, if it’s a good friend, and you don’t go, you’re looked at like you’re the bitch. Does anyone really understand the “It’s not in my budget?” reason? They may say they do, but at the end of the day you can just tell they really don’t get it. I find it really hard to deal with people that are frivolous with money when they really shouldn’t be. I don’t feel like I should be around people like that, because in some ways I’m like an addict. I’m addicted to spending money that I don’t have, to fill voids that are bottomless.

The best is when people say “Oh but you don’t have to bring a gift, gifts are not expected”. Oh really now? So let me be the only asshole who doesn’t bring you a gift, and have everyone talk shit. In the end EVERYONE always brings a gift!!!!

I’m going to throw myself a fucking party. I’m due. I haven’t had a party in YEARS. It’ll be called, the “I’m broke and deep in debt, come help me wallow in my sorrows but don’t worry gifts aren’t expected!” party.



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2 thoughts on “Feeling resentful

  1. If they are a close friend they will understand! πŸ™‚ Best wishes! πŸ™‚

  2. Are there ways you can channel your frustrations? Exercise or punching a punching bag at the gym? Or journaling (which you’re doing, but I mean an actual journal). Swearing at the top of your lungs at your friends if you’re alone in your car? Just some thoughts!

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