I made my bed, and now I must lie in it!

Archive for the tag “debt repayment”

Sorry I/We can’t!

That is a phrase that will be used to answer a lot of invites to things. I’ve already begun using it for awhile. The funniest experience I’ve had as of yet was when I went to a birthday dinner with friends, and after dinner my friends decided to go to the casino. I told them I couldn’t go cause I simply could not afford it. I was poked and prodded into going, and finally had to say “Listen, I have a lot of debt, and the casino is the last place I need to be. When our bills came my friend’s boyfriend turns to me and goes “Are you ok?”, and I was like “Ya, why?” and he’s like “No, are you ok to pay your dinner bill!? I can pay it for you”, and I was so shocked and kinda embarrassed. I told him that of course I was ok to pay my bill ,that if I could not have afforded to come I would not have but that I knew going to the casino was a bad idea for me. He wasn’t completely convinced and asked me again if I was sure, and I had to reassure him a few times. While it was sweet and all it took me by surprise that that was his reaction. It made me realize that the journey I’m about to go on is not one that most will understand. That when I say no to certain things people are going to take it personal. I know when I was reading the Dave Ramsey book he warns that not many WILL understand, and that you should not WANT to live a life where you are keeping up with the joneses. I really want to follow his advice, and I know I have to. It’s just so damn hard.


I’d like a new life without debt please. K thanks!

So I’m over this debt bullshit. I’m over the worrying, and the panicking, and the always struggling to pay our bills and the bare minimum on our debts. I’m fucking OVER it.

I’ve been over in my head all my options. Get a new better paying job. Get a 2nd job. File bankruptcy. I need to make a damn decision! Why are these decisions never easy? Oh yes, because they affect your LIFE!!!!

2014 is sure to bring a lot of changes to my life. A big change that’s already happened is having sold our building and therefore not having that huge debt in my name. I love logging into my bank account and not seeing that anymore! I love that it happened at the end of 2013 as that signifies this chapter of my life has been closed and we can start 2014 new and fresh!

I need to be strategic about my planning of a new job. There are a lot of factors I need to consider, and I need to plan accordingly. I hate the waiting game but I can’t be hasty either!

I read the Dave Ramsey book, and although the beginning was like a therapy session into realizing how I got here, and the type of behaviors I need to curb in order to battle this debt, everything else was pretty basic, and like all the other self help books out there. He pretty much tells you that in his intro though…lol! Thankfully I borrowed the book from the library and did not buy it, that would have been a total waste of money. The only thing I’m battling is his “live like no else, so that later you can live like no one else” This I agree with 100% but man is it hard to live like no one else!

Although this blog started off pretty solid, I’ve been slacking and that’s pretty much due to there being zero progress on my end. It IS a miracle however that I’m STILL blogging so I guess that says something. I foresee this becoming a place where I come to bitch and whine, and tell you the little bits of progress I’ve hopefully made. Who am I shitting, that’s what it is now!

Anyhoo, I wish everyone who reads my blog all the very best in the new year. I hope all your dreams, and wishes come true, and if you’re battling that awful little whore called debt, best of luck to ya!


I’m alive!

The reason I haven’t written in over a month is quite simple. My debt repayment plan just sucks…lol! I mean, there is no plan because there’s currently not enough money to pay off more than the minimum. We’ve been struggling to just pay things on time!

I’ve continued my search for new employment, or additional employment but it’s looking like new employment might be the best option. I can’t very well work 7 days a week, that’s just not an option.

You know when life just throws you all sorts of fucked up shit at once? Well it’s my month to benefit from that.

I’m struggling to find way to pay off more than the minimum each month. I need to find extra money somewhere. I’m thinking of cutting down our cable/internet/phone bill. I also just posted a whole bunch of stuff to sell on craigslist. Aside from prostituting myself I’m fresh out of ideas…lol!

I decided that going the consumer proposal or bankruptcy route is not a good option. I’m not sure that there is a good option out there at all!

Reading other blogs where people have been successful is so encouraging but I feel like I will never get there.

Sometimes having a warrantee actually pays off!

Warrantee’s sometimes get a bad rap, but sometimes it sure as hell pays to have one!

Sunday night our washer kicked the bucket. It refused to work, made horrid noises, and because it’s a front loader the door was locked and wouldn’t open. I was beyond pissed, and prayed that the extended warrantee I had taken out on my washer and dryer was still in effect. Thankfully, it was! It’s good until January 2014, talk about down to the wire…lol!

I was able to get a repairman in to see it today, and sure enough, the pump was broken! All parts and labour covered! If we had to pay for that repair….well we couldn’t have! We have nothing saved because of the debt situation we’re in!

That got me to thinking. Dave Ramsey suggests that you save $1000 before you begin any extra debt repayments (but you continue to pay the minimums of course. #1, we hardly HAVE anything extra, and when we do it’s very little. Do you know how long it’ll take us to save that? I see the benefit obviously, if something unexpected happens, we’re covered! #2, I want my debt repayment to start NOW!

So what do I do? Do I take a few months to save an emergency fund, or do I throw caution to the wind, and start paying extra on my debt whenever I can?

Tomorrow is the big day!

So at around 6:00pm tomorrow I’m meeting with a financial advisor to go over all my options. I’m a little nervous, and have spent the last little bit writing down my updated debts.

To give you a brief update my current total debt include credit cards, loans, store cards, mortgage and car is $396,256.74. My total debt back in July was $398,059.78.

This means that my total debt repayment was only 1803.04!!! What the HELL?!! I don’t feel as if I’ve added to any debts because my credit cards are pretty much maxed but I suppose the interest is killing it. 

I’m excited about the appointment but I’m also scared because whatever option I choose obviously has consequences. Ones that I’ll have to live with!

Wish me luck!



I hate budgets!!!!!

So after looking online for what seemed like an eternity tonight I found a budget worksheet that is compatible with excel. I had to edit it to meet my needs but I managed to do that and I love it. What I don’t love however is the filling it in part and finding out how fucked I really am. What I discovered is that I’m $24.00 short every month! Lovely! So not only do I not have enough money to pay all my shit, but I have no extra money for savings, or to pay extra on my debts. How fucking fabulous is THAT?! Obviously I need to change a few things in my life. I’m not sure what to do at this point but I welcome any and all advice!

Oh how I love crossing the border……

into the US of A! It’s always a little dangerous cause I know I’ll be spending some money but the US has so many goodies that us Canucks just don’t! The 1st time I walked into Target I wanted to move in! Your dollar stores are the shit, and don’t even get me started on the FOOD! Gah! It’s like I’ve died and gone to heaven! The fact that some things are so much cheaper is nuts! I once bought eggs, 12 for 99 cents! 99 f’in CENTS! Here the cheapest you can get them for is $1.99 and that’s a good deal! Then there’s the tax difference. HUGE! I also noticed that the tax is different on clothing and shoes! My mom paid 4% tax for underwear! You don’t even WANT to know what the tax is here, you’d die!

Anyhoo…I love going there and saving myself some money. You may think that I’d save some money by not wasting gas and driving there but the drive is like an hour, and gas is cheaper in the states…lol!

So funny story. I know I mentioned in a previous blog post that I use only 1 credit card with a limit of $300.00. Well I broke out this card knowing I had money left on the card that I could use. I like using credit in the states cause the exchange happens on my statement and it’s a lot better rate than when you use CAD money. My card worked at Target. At the next 3 stores it was declined. I was starting to worry that my card has been blocked since I was out of the country and maybe the company thought that my card was being frauded. Thankfully I had another card with me that I didn’t really want to use but I had to use because I had no choice. So I called the company today and apparently the payment of $120.00 I made on July 17th had still not cleared. Ready for the reason why? Sometimes when they’re not sure where the payment is coming from they freeze the payment. It was only supposed to be unfrozen by Aug 2nd. I got slightly frustrated and told the rep that this was unacceptable, especially since my payments always come from my bank account. I always pay the bill online and every other payment has cleared. He said that sometimes this can happen and it may not be the last time! After that I kinda lost my marbles and said a few choice words….lol! Unreal though eh?! My one card with a limit of $300.00 and I gotta worry about this shit now.

Ok, back to business. The business that I have not even started. My budget. I swear I’m going to finish that up by the end of this week. I have to. I want to be all prepped for August. Fun fun! LOL!

When friends have not changed…..

So it’s all fine and dandy that I’ve decided to finally do something about my debt, but what do you do when the friends you do have who are in the same boat as you have decided to keep on truckin’ the way they have been. Taking vacations, buying expensive things, etc… how do you maintain those friendships when you are so obviously not in the same boat as them? Part of me is kinda jealous that I can’t treat myself to lavish things but then I remember that they’re not in a great financial situation and buying all those lavish things always comes at a high cost. Then there are the friends that claim to have no money when you ask them to go to a movie or dinner with you but then they book a trip the next day…..

I think I’ve come to a time in my life where I just really need to worry about myself. I’ve always been a people pleaser, and always worried what people thought. Right now I need to worry about myself, and really only worry about the people that I know truly care about me. I have wasted way too much time on people that really don’t give a shit and I’m done.

Personally I need to start coming from a place of no when it comes to invites. I get way too many dinner, movie, you name it invites and I have a hard time saying no. Truth is, my budget is so tight that I truly can’t afford it!

I heard a story at work last week about a friend of a co-worker. She apparently is the cheapest chick out there. Has a good job, owns a car, condo etc, and has tons of money in the bank. When her friends ask her to go out she says she has no money. She does this because she obviously must have a plan. I need to take a lesson from her and live like I’m dirt poor….cause well, I kinda am… LOL!


Leaving out debts….

So, I may have overlooked some debts. What kind you may ask? Oh, nothing much, just a little thing called a mortgage, a car payment, and some store cards that I have equalized payment plans with that charge zero interest.


I decided to leave the mortgage out because I’m in the process of selling. It’s a long horrid story that involves buying a duplex with family, and it all went horribly wrong. I cannot sell fast enough and unfortunately this market sucks big huge hairy monkey balls right now. Boo that!


The car payment loan…it’s a biggie that’ll be with me for around 5-6 more years. I can afford the car payments, and I absolutely need a car so this is a must and something I cannot get rid of.


The store cards….I bought a fridge when mine broke. Ok, so I didn’t have to buy the Cadillac of all fridges but I did. It’s a monster and will probably never fit into any kitchen when I have to move but whatever. I’m stuck with it now.


The other big purchase? A 60 inch flat screen smart TV. The smart part totally sold me, and guess what? I have never used any of those features. The TV is fucking smart and I’m fucking stupid. The end!

SO, if we tally in all that added debt you want to know what my new debt total is? Brace yourselves!

Store card 1 – $1552.24

Store card 2 – $1938.34

Car loan – $23,129.69

Mortgage- $338,193.24


TOTAL: $ 364,813.51



THIS is why I did not include the above debts in my debt total, that number is crazy scary.

Hopefully I will have soon sold the duplex and then I won’t have that hanging over my head.

As for my store cards they do not accrue interest and I pay them on time every month and therefore the totals are going down quickly.

As for my car payment, I was lucky enough to get a good interest rate when I applied for the loan so the principle has been going down.

In the meantime I have been paying my minimums on all other debt and trying to decide a plan of action. Every time I think I can pay this all off on my own something gets in the way. I have recently thought about bankruptcy but then I have to live with a really bad credit score for at least 6 years. I don’t know that I can do that.

I’m torn. In the meantime I plan on spending the least amount of money possible and just maintain all my payments. I need to decide soon though because this debt is making me super stressed and has been for some time now.

Any tips, or advice is always appreciated. I find comfort in reading other blogs like mine, it’s encouraging and makes me very hopeful for the future. 🙂

What a fucking mess!

How did I get here? Let me tell ya! It’s partly life circumstances, not making enough money to make ends meet. The other part is pure and utter stupidity. Buying things frivolously. Not thinking about HOW I’ll pay for them. Thinking “oh, I’m already in thousands of dollars of debt, what’s another few hundred?”. Well it stops here. Partly cause I have no more room on my credit cards and partly cause I know I have a huge problem to deal with. I need to figure out how the hell I’m going to pay all this off. CAN I pay all of this off or is bankruptcy the next step for me? I want to learn from others. I want to be held accountable for all my debt. That is the reason why I created this blog.

So here goes what I always dread. My debt totals. Cue the heart attack!

Credit line – $9992.91

Visa – $10067.84

Canadian Tire MasterCard – $7594.69

MBNA MasterCard – $5590.83


TOTAL: $33246.27

Fuck my life. Literally.

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