I made my bed, and now I must lie in it!

Archive for the tag “money”

Feeling resentful

The following feelings are probably going to seem extremely selfish but I can’t help how I feel.

You ever go through the experience of having to go to one event after another for someone? Events that cost you money? I don’t mind going to events once in awhile, but when these events go back to back, and increase in the amount of money that I’ll be expected to spend, I get annoyed. I don’t have anything going on in my life that requires anyone to come to my shit, and I’d rather not go to the expense of going to anyone else’s shit over and over again. Thank you very much! The thing is, if it’s a good friend, and you don’t go, you’re looked at like you’re the bitch. Does anyone really understand the “It’s not in my budget?” reason? They may say they do, but at the end of the day you can just tell they really don’t get it. I find it really hard to deal with people that are frivolous with money when they really shouldn’t be. I don’t feel like I should be around people like that, because in some ways I’m like an addict. I’m addicted to spending money that I don’t have, to fill voids that are bottomless.

The best is when people say “Oh but you don’t have to bring a gift, gifts are not expected”. Oh really now? So let me be the only asshole who doesn’t bring you a gift, and have everyone talk shit. In the end EVERYONE always brings a gift!!!!

I’m going to throw myself a fucking party. I’m due. I haven’t had a party in YEARS. It’ll be called, the “I’m broke and deep in debt, come help me wallow in my sorrows but don’t worry gifts aren’t expected!” party.




So I met with the advisor and have been stressed ever since that meeting. I left there feeling even more down in the dumps than I had felt before. Maybe it’s a “you’re going to feel worse before you feel better” kinda thing but either way it sucked. I got into my car and could literally have cried for days but the tears never came.

What came was PANIC. How the fuck am I gonna do this?

The advisor was amazing! I’m not sure what I thought might happen in there. Maybe judgement? There was none of that at all. There was actually sympathy! She compared 2 scenarios to me, I guess the only 2 that made sense in my situation. Since I had done a lot of research I knew a lot of info before going in, but what I wasn’t sure on what the calculations! Well ladies and gentlemen, now I know! LOL!

She had to compare bankruptcy to consumer proposal since you need to offer more money in a consumer proposal than you would repay in a bankruptcy. I did not know that! So basically, after giving her all my salary and debt info she figured out that I would have to pay around $18,000 (or $360.00/month) for a bankruptcy, and therefore would have to at least offer $20,000.00 for a consumer proposal. (which is $350/month) You repay that monthly amount for 5 years.

The bad news? Each is almost just as bad on your credit score. Bankruptcy is a R9 and a consumer proposal is a R7.

At this point I’m paying $720/month on my debt. If I were to do a consumer proposal (I’ve decided against bankruptcy) that means my debt is cut in half.

Pros? My debt is cut in half!

Cons? I have no credit, and will not have any for 5+ years.

My question to myself is, can I do this myself? If I get a better paying job, I could very well bring in $300.00-$400.00 more a month that could be put on my debt.

I need advice. I need tips. I’ve been reading a lot about Dave Ramsey and actually reserved his book at the library (The Total Money Makeover). A quote I read of his makes perfect sense: “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.”

It makes perfect sense, and that is my goal!

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