indebted2debt

I made my bed, and now I must lie in it!

Stressed!

So I’m feeling kinda stressed lately with my debt. I mean, I’m always stressed about it but lately it’s been hard. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. We’re barely making ends meet, and that’s us just paying the minimums which is all we can afford to pay. The only way that we’ll be able to pay more is if I work 7 days a week or I get a better paying job. Even then I’ll only be bringing in an extra $300-$400 extra. I’m not sure what to do but I think I need to sit down with a financial advisor and discuss options. It’s not manageable anymore and it seems to be getting worse. The last thing I want is to file bankruptcy and I know there are other options besides that so I need to look into what they are. Most of all, I see how this is affecting my health, stress wise I’m probably at my worst. I mean, it’s almost 3 o’clock in the fucking morning and I’m still awake!

Anyhow, I wish I had an update that was good news, but quite frankly our financial situation is quite grim. My bank account is actually in overdraft until payday which is 2 weeks from now . Lovely!

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Same shit, different day!

The title speaks for itself….lol! My debts are no better, and I’m always left wondering where the fuck my money goes!? We always need something, like actual necessities! I need to cut stuff out somehow or lower my bills significantly. I’ll make that my goal for this week, to try and cut my phone/internet/cable bill by a lot or threaten to go elsewhere. 😉 (Since there are no longer contracts here it’s so easy to threaten).

 

In other news I heard back regarding that position. They decided to go with someone a little more junior so they wouldn’t have to pay as much. First off, the agency posted the salary that was being offered and if that wasn’t what the employer wanted to pay, they should not have posted it and wasted anyone’s time! It’s better off anyways since I know what I’m worth and I’m not accepting any less!

I have to admit that lately my anxiety has been through the roof. Between trying to sell this building (which I doubt will sell before the winter hits) and dealing with work and health issues I’m left feeling exhausted. I have an appointment with my gastroenterologist tomorrow (I meet with her every few months regarding my colitis) and I have to bring up to her how exhausted I am. I’ve read that this can be due to the disease, but this is ridiculous. I have always been a night owl, but my insomnia has gotten worse. Even still, I used to be able to function and do things. Now In just feel run down and exhausted even after the littlest thing. I know that stress makes my condition worse but it’s hard to be stress free when you are fucking stressed! LOL!

Anyways, enough about my ailments. This isn’t a health blog! 😛

Hope everyone is doing well, and I’m now off to read about all your progress since I have none of my own. 😉

 

 

No news is good news?

So I haven’t heard back from the agency. I even sent them a follow up on Tuesday night so they’d receive it by Wednesday morning. He had mentioned that the company would make up their mind early this week….and well tomorrow is Friday! He has not responded to my e-mail, and I feel like that’s either incredibly rude of him, or that he is under negotiations with the company about me and that he only wants to answer once he knows for sure. I mean, if it was a flat out no, I’d hope he’d have the balls to just come out and say so!

 

In other news, my daughter started kindergarten today. Last year she was on pre-k so this year wasn’t as emotional to me. Although, she is going to an elementary school that I went to when I was her age so it’s very sentimental! She even has the possibility of having my kindergarten teacher who is still there! Unfortunately what isn’t fun about school is the back to school shopping!! This week I had to go through all my daughter’s clothes so I could figure out what she needs. Well she needs quite a bit! Thankfully Old Navy is having a 30% off everything in the store so I picked up a few things there. Anything to save money at this point is a good thing. These are things that I can’t scrimp on though and that just really sucks for my wallet.

 

I kinda fell off the wagon when it came to not using my credit cards. I just had to because of all this stuff she needs but after this I’ll go back to not using them.

 

I just feel like I’m kinda in a rut when it comes to debt repayment, like it’s taking so damn long to see any kind of results. Sure goes by slowly when you’re trying to save and pay off debt but it goes really fast when you’re spending…..

Anxiety

Having been diagnosed with anxiety and dealing with normal every day shit can be challenging. Add in extra things, and it can damn well nearly kill you.

So I met with the agency. Then I met with the company that is looking to hire. Long story short? I’m now even more confused and torn as ever. Do I stay, or do I go? Nothing has been offered to me yet, and I almost hope that it’s not so I don’t have to make this decision.

The interview went well. I’m pretty sure she liked me, and I have enough experience. I just have to figure out if it’s worth leaving my current company for the things that were offered.

My anxiety plays a huge roll here. I hate being the new girl. I hate not knowing anyone. I hate having to potentially take time off for my inevitable sick child (even though I mentioned this in the interview and it was taken quite well), I hate worrying if they’ll like me, If I’ll do good, IF, IF, IF!

I also hate worrying what my current job will do to my already horrible anxiety.

Decisions, decisions. BLAH!

Crunching numbers

So I got down and dirty with crunching all the numbers. I already know that by the end of every month we are actually $25 short. What I wanted to figure out was how much more a year I make if I estimate what my commission will pay out. I estimated that I’ll only bring in an extra $2000/yr and that does not bring my annual salary even close to what I could be making at another job! A lot of the employees are thinking of leaving, one even cried this week. We are worked like dogs, have to stay late, and are not even paid up to the industry standard. My co-worker encouraged me into looking into this agency that she just started dealing with. She went on an interview, and it actually ended up being one of our customers! They wanted to hire her but part of the job was something she used to do but no longer wanted to do. This task is actually something I do presently. She encouraged me to apply and after a lot of humming and hawing I finally applied online tonight. We’ll see what comes of it. Something needs to change money wise and this would enable me to bring in an extra $400 a month! Doesn’t hurt to try….we’ll see what happens!

Offer cancelled

So out of nowhere the offer was cancelled due to the couple not being able to get approved at the bank. We are back to square one. BLAH!!!!

I got my 1 year evaluation at work and was given a really shitty 2.25% raise. That equals to a whole $25.00 before taxes a MONTH extra. Woo hoo! I didn’t even bother fighting for more since I know what the answer will be. I’m waiting to see what my commission pays out (and if we actually get it at all) and then will make a decision as to whether I stay or go.

Today I had to miss work which is really going to hurt my budget. Unfortunately, I have inflammatory bowel disease, (a form of colitis) and have had some pretty scary bleeding the last 4 days and so I waited from 10 to 4 in the ER today. Good times! I was actually scared that they might keep me but thankfully I was able to go home.

Overall I just fell really crap, and unmotivated at the moment. I had to dig into some money I was saving, and that felt really shitty. On the plus side? I have not used any of my credit cards. Cash only baby!

A weak offer

Well today we received what I think to be a really insulting offer. We listed our duplex originally at 469,000.00. We have had to lower the price several times since March because the market is so shitty. We just recently lowered it from 429,000.00 to 399,000.00. We received an offer today for 380,000.00! That’s 19 fucking thousand dollars less! I mean my god, we might as well just give it to these people for free! what I don’t get is, if this building is not in your price range, then don’t bother visiting and putting in an offer! It’s so insulting, especially since our building is amazing and actually worth so much more than what we’re asking. The property value has soared in the last couple of years. If it weren’t for the market, we’d have sold easily at 469,000.00.

Anyhoo, we countered at 395,000.00. Pretty much to say, fuck you. We know it’s worth this, take it or leave it. The real kicker is these people are not even pre-approved at the bank! They asked for 15 days to get that sorted out since their mortgage specialist is on vacation. Shouldn’t they have sorted that out before going to visit places?

We are continuing on with other visits and are of course going to accept any offers in the meantime since I don’t think this building is within this couple’s budget. We gave them until 11:00pm tomorrow to answer our counter offer.

It’s just so damn frustrating. I hate being in this situation. It really sucks to live in limbo and have people in and out of here and have no results. 😦

As for my budget. I just keep on truckin’. It seems so slow this debt repayment bullshit. This month I was actually able to take my whole 1st pay and pay my bills! This was all thanks to my friend that loaned us money so we could get off of the really bad pattern we had gotten on. (Taking 1st pay of month to pay mortgage when I should have been taking the last pay of the previous month to pay the mortgage and the 1st pay of the month to pay bills). So thankfully, all my bills are paid on time, and that means no collection calls! The 2nd pay of this month goes to re-paying my friend, and the last pay to the mortgage and any remaining bills. My budget as mentioned in a previous post is really shit. I have no room for any extra debt repayment at the moment but hopefully with a raise in the near future and some commission money from sales that will help. Either way, I’m still motivated and I’m not ADDING to my debts so that’s already a step in the right direction.

I’ll keep you all posted on the offer crap….I swear if they come back at some ridiculous price I will go bat shit crazy. 😉

An offer!

We received an offer on our duplex and I will find out what it is tomorrow morning. This journey of buying, and then having it not work out (bought with family, huge mistake!) has been so incredibly stressful! I just want this offer to turn into an actual sale. We’ve had our place on the market since March, had a ton of visits, only one other offer that did not work out. The market right now sucks here. It’s a buyers market for sure and because of that we’ve had a lot of frustrations. As happy as I am with the prospect of this nightmare being over, I’m stressed because this will mean we have to move and that costs money! I can’t jump ahead though even though that’s what I’m best at. I love worrying about things way before they happen which doesn’t do any good at all. All I can do is hope that this works out, I have everything crossed that it does. I’ll keep you all posted! 🙂

At a crossroads….

So I’ve always felt really underpaid at my job. I’ve always been in the habit of looking at job listings, partly for the fun of it, and partly because I have been feeling like I should find a better paying job. I mean, how else will I pay down my debt? Recently my company implemented a sales commission and an account management plan. What this means is that each employee each has an equal amount of customers that are theirs. It equals to about 100 customers each. Every sale that comes in  that falls into your account you get a commission on. We get 10% on each sale. The minimum sale is $350.00 so that would mean you pocket $35.00. The pay out is every quarter so you could end up getting a few hundred dollars. Before we didn’t have this, and not everyone had the opportunity to talk with customers, and make sales. This evens out the playing field. We also get a bonus that is based on productivity twice a year, we just got it today. Since the sales thing has been put in place it’s made me re-think my decision of finding a new job. The opportunity to get a potentially large sum every 3 months is awesome. I’ve also listed all the pros (and cons) of working at this company in a past blog so there are other things to consider as well.

I hate making decisions like this. I figure, I’ll give it a few months. With my daughter starting back at school at the end of the month and me needing time off for orientation and such it’s hardly the time to start a new job.

The prospect of making more money in sales and being able to plop that down on debt is encouraging and I’m happy that our company finally realized that we need to be compensated.

I’d love to hear your work stories, every been at the same kinda crossroad?

I hate budgets!!!!!

So after looking online for what seemed like an eternity tonight I found a budget worksheet that is compatible with excel. I had to edit it to meet my needs but I managed to do that and I love it. What I don’t love however is the filling it in part and finding out how fucked I really am. What I discovered is that I’m $24.00 short every month! Lovely! So not only do I not have enough money to pay all my shit, but I have no extra money for savings, or to pay extra on my debts. How fucking fabulous is THAT?! Obviously I need to change a few things in my life. I’m not sure what to do at this point but I welcome any and all advice!

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